I Really Did Take The Scissors Away This Time

The other night I noticed an odd tear in the curtains in our dining room. 

It's too high off the ground for a mouse or other small animal to have chewed on it.  And it's too low for a chair or other piece of furniture to have snagged it.  It almost seems to be at child height.  Hmmm...

On a completely unrelated note, for those who asked, here is a picture of Betsy's latest haircut.  When you look at her head-on, it isn't obvious that she cut her hair, but she doesn't look the same either.  Here are some top-down photos to give you a better angle on the damage.

Trick Or Treat

"Okay, kids, let's take a cute picture of the two of you in your costumes!"

"Betsy, that's not cute."

"Let's try again.  Give me big smiles!"

"Betsy, this isn't funny.  Knock it off."

"Last chance.  Please, let's take a cute picture with big smiles.  "



I Wouldn't Want to Meet Her in a Dark Alley

Betsy, while playing outside with a neighborhood friend, asked, "Do you want to play ninjas or Barbie ninjas?"

Betsy's Beauty Parlor The Fourth

Alternate Titles for This Blog Post:

• DIY Haircuts: A Tutorial by Betsy
• Oops, She Did It Again
• Apparently, I'm Up For Mother of the Year
• Child-safe Does Not Mean Betsy-safe
• WTF!?!

For those not keeping track, this is Betsy's FIFTH time taking scissors to hair. The first, third and fourth times Betsy-doll received the ole snip snip. The second and fifth times were Betsy herself.

The first time, I was ambivalent. The second and third times, I laughed, cried, and laughed again. The fourth time, I shrugged (that poor doll!). But the fifth time has left me seriously questioning my parenting skills.

Thankfully, her hair is still growing out from last April, so the damage isn't too obvious. But still!

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I need to incinerate all of the cutting implements in our house.

Preschool Fashion

Haute couture for the five and under set.

Elliot and His New Little Brother

To add insult to injury, it's so short she can't even wear a bow in her hair. So, I'm in the market for cute hats. And in the meantime, as Anna said, I'll just have to go Pepto Bismal on her!

BETSY'S BEAUTY SHOP (#2)

As you know, Betsy's Beauty Shop is up and running. The first customer was Betsy Doll, who came through the doors just a few days ago. The second customer? Betsy herself!

First, a preview of the destruction:

A look at the sides and back:

And, of course, the front:

But business is BOOMING and Betsy had a repeat customer come into the shop today. Third customer? Betsy Doll's return. Here's her glorious new 'do:

I'm not sure that I would recommend Betsy's Beauty Shop to any of my friends. Her third client's new coiffure makes her look deranged.

BETSY'S BEAUTY SHOP

IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

First customer? Betsy Doll. She received a custom hair cut, complete with evidence hidden behind the couch. For an 18" doll, that's quite a bit of hair!

But after the general manager of the beauty shop (Mom) stepped in to help, Betsy Doll started to look a little better. And after an olive oil conditioner, her hair is glistening and tangle-free!

Betsy Got Mail

Betsy just got mail today. When she saw the envelope in the mailbox, she looked at the name on the front and said, "B-E-T-S-Y, that's me! I got mail!"

Here's her reaction when she opened the envelope:

Kids Say The Darndest Things #126

As I drove through town, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Betsy sporting some cute little sunglasses. I told her how cute she looked and she said, "I know."

Well, at least she knows her assets and isn't afraid to use them!

Cabin Adventures

We spent a few days at the cabin with four kids 6 and under - it was an adventure! Here are some pictures of the fun:

Pig-pile on Papa

Swinging in the Hammock

View from the other side

June Cleaver Would be Proud

Here's my daughter dusting the furniture in dress shoes and skirt.  Cute, huh?

And this is what happened when I turned my back:

She was "dusting" the bed.  Cute, huh?

This Day in Jones Family History

Still getting her sea legs under her, our one-year-old terrorized the house!

What I Imagined Motherhood to Be

Normally, after dinner, the kids are ushered immediately upstairs to pjs and bed.  But last night I let them play in their rooms for awhile.  Elliot spent his time creating rocket ships out of legos while Betsy searched the dress-up box for the perfect theatrical costume.  She decided on a pretty pink dress which, she told me, was going to be a Sleeping Beauty dress.  As it was nearing lights out, the kids asked to perform a play and have a rocket ship race in lieu of a bedtime story.  I agreed and the next 20 minutes of my life counldn't have been more perfect.

Already being in full costume, Betsy wanted to have a princess play about Sleeping Beauty.  But when I explained that she had to lay down on the ground and fall alseep she decided that a good costume wasn't nearly as important as a good storyline.  So she opted for the Snow White play until, of course, I told her that she'd have to lay down and fall alseep.  After working through her somniphobia, we finally decided on a Cinderella play. 

Using a triceratops puppet as her cleaning sponge, our play opened to poor Cinderella scrubbing the castle floors.  Luckily, Prince Charming quickly arrived to try the shoe on her foot.  It fit!  And the happy pair climbed onto their trusty toybox and rode off together into the sunset.  The narrator (me) played a key role in the speed and interpretation of the play, but the audience (me) still thought it was a rousing success!

After our trip to Broadway, we escaped into outer space where an inter-galactic race was taking place.  Each child quickly picked up their rocket of choice and joined the chaos.  A couple of laps around the upstairs bedrooms and two winners later, we were all ready for kisses, hugs, cuddles and bed.

Slow Poke

Any mother will tell you that creativity is key to getting your children to do what you want them to do.  When getting Betsy into the car each morning, we have a race - I open Elliot's side of the car, she climbs in, walks to her side of the car and tries to get into her car seat before I am able to close the door, walk around the back of the car and open her door on the other side. 

She's quick and I am prone to distraction so, as it would happen, she wins our race every day.  One morning she was particularly proud of her speed and told me, "Mommy you're a slow poke and I'm a fast poke."  Sounds about right.

Snow White and the Dragon

Snow White With An Attitude

Trick-Or-Treat

With Halloween on a Saturday this year, we decided to spend the afternoon visiting some of our favorite people and showing off our costumes...

A Study in Contrasts

My daughter is a girly-girl. She loves jewelry, hats, clothing changes, kissing her reflection in the mirror and especially SHOES - she is 100% girl. And although I think it's sweet and innocent, I have no idea where she gets all this femininity from.

This morning Betsy found a pair of purple metallic shoes. And even though they are 4 sizes too big for her, she insisted on wearing them (because, as she reasoned, they don't have to feel good they just have to look good). She paraded around the house in those sparkling slippers all morning and smiled the whole time.

But my jewel-wearing-shoe-loving offspring is also a bit of a slob, too. During most meals she will find a way to put food somewhere that it doesn't belong - on the dog, on the walls, in her hair. She thinks that cups are for sissies and prefers to slurp her milk directly from her highchair tray. And those who've had the pleasure of watching her eat, know I'm not kidding when I say she eats like a full-grown man.

After lunch today, as I was cleaning up her highchair, hair, face and clothes, I told her what a pig I think she is. Betsy gave me the sweetest smile and then snorted.

I guess we're a lot alike after all.

Understanding my daughter

At almost 18 months, Betsy has a very limited vocabulary. But her inability to articulate thoughts doesn't hold her back from getting her point across. To help those who don't speak Betsy-onics, here are common words, phrases and actions and their definitions.

Bye Bye noun
1: a wish of well being upon departing: Good-bye

Nigh Nigh noun
1: an act of departure
2: to sleep

Ahhhh verb
1: to ask earnestly for food (with mouth open to accept offering)

Uh Oh verb
1: to express concern (with hands clasped on face a la Macaulay Culkin)

Mama noun
1: first thought to be a term of endearment for the woman who brought her into this world. Now come to discover it means all adults

Tee verb
1: to long or hope for: exhibit or feel desire for (usually includes pointing or reaching for something across the room)
2: to express a wish for: request (includes reaching for something close-by)

Dee verb
1 a: to present for acceptance or rejection (while handing you a cracker, juice or other delectible) b: to present in order to satisfy a requirement (while handing you the item you asked her to retrieve)
2: to make available (handing you any little thing she found on the ground)

No adverb, adjective, noun
1: used as a function word to express the negative of an alternative choice or possibility
2: not any : hardly any: very little
3: an act or instance of refusing or denying by the use of the word no : denial

Screams verb
1: a desire for Elliot to return her toy NOW
2: a desire for anything previously refused her
3: a declaration of pain

Throwing body on floor verb
1: an act of utter frustration and contempt for the big people

Head hung low adjective
1: to feel dejected : cast down in spirits (usually following being told she can't have something and a precursor to throwing body on floor)

So there you go. If you are ever at our house or see us out in public, you will now be able to clearly understand the unique vocal-stylings of our 18-month-old (or at least as well as we do). I should note that the "throwing body on floor" and "head hung low" are only recent developments and aren't used very often (although I think we'll see A LOT more of them in the coming months).