December 11th

How we're surviving the blizzard:

Drying our snow-laden clothes

Listening to a favorite Christmas album

Checking items off the to-do list

Aaaaaaand........DONE!

Photographic proof of why my house isn't clean, my tree is undecorated and my children are in yesterday's clothes:

So, yeah, didn't happen...

Remember this? Yeah, didn't happen. Didn't think it would, but I really wanted to try. Oh well.

All is not lost, though. I am still going to try to recapture the last week in pictures and words. Here goes:

December 4th
Got a late start to a birthday party. Tried desperately not to get stressed about it. Managed to succeed pretty well until I got lost on the way there. Showed up an hour late.

Inhale.

Exhale.

The kids had a great time. It was a circus theme, complete with this cake:
Left the circus party to join another party, but discovered on the way that the second party had been cancelled. No loss. We headed home instead. Turned into our alley, drove to our garage and attempted to park in the garage. Got stuck. Backed up and tried again. Got stuck. Back up. STUCK.

Finally, a neighbor took pity on me and spent a good 20 minutes shoveling and pushing to get me freed from my snowy constraints. When I was mobile again, I drove away down the alley and proceeded to get stuck again trying to turn onto the street. Three more men, 20 more minutes, many curse words and a prayer or two were all that was needed to free me a second time.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Spent the rest of the day in the house.

December 5th
With final dress rehearsals breathing down my neck, I skipped great grandma's tree-decorating party and finished up the costumes. Joe and the kids were able to enjoy a few hours of family and evergreens without the costume grinch. They were happy.


December 6th
First of the final dress rehearsals. Still a few costumes/alterations outstanding, but nothing that would impede the show. Elliot and Betsy were great sports again and made it possible (and easy) for me to help. Such good kids.


McDonalds for dinner.


December 7th
Ah... a break from the costume madness. With only a few last-minute alterations to sew, I was able to clean up a lot of the mess in my living room. Still not back to normal, but SO. MUCH. BETTER. (Also worked on a cute present for a little one for the holidays. I promise to show it off soon.)


Made beef tenderloin, mashed potatoes and salad for dinner. I thought I owed my family a nice meal since we've been eating crap for weeks (see December 6th).


December 8th
More dress rehearsal... More costumes... More kids... More broadway...


What more can I say?


December 9th
Today's the day of the first performance. The little thespians stay after school, run through the play a final time, have a pizza party in the cafeteria and then dress for their first performance. I skipped the run through and pizza party. I needed the break but, more importantly, my kids would have needed therapy if I'd forced them to stay at school another day.


In fact, as it turned out, my oldest needed a trip to the principal's office. It seems that all these practices and time at school have been too much for him and he was misbehaving in class. Thankfully, the end is near.


So I arrived at school in time to help the performers with hair and make-up. To put it nicely, the energy was amazing - the kids were literally climbing the walls they were so excited.

The Snow Finally Arrived

The first snow fall of the season happened today (and is STILL happening). It started about 1am this morning and hasn't stopped. Bummer for those of us with sidewalks to shovel and places to be, but great for kiddos, dogs and snow mice.

What I've Been Up To

Question:

What do you get when you add an over-zealous volunteer and a Type A personality?



Answer:

When Elliot started kindergarten, I knew that I wanted to be as involved in his school as my schedule would permit. Not only did I want my family to feel like we were part of a larger community, but I also wanted my children to have the advantage of my involvement in their education.

My schedule didn't really allow me to help out much last year. I did the best I could, but I wished I could have done more. So when the volunteer sign-up came home from school this fall, I jumped right in with both feet. And when I jump in, I JUMP IN.

I'm now in charge of the costumes for the school's winter musical, which is a revue of six different Broadway musicals. The school already has a supply of costumes from years past, but most of the costumes need alterations and some need to be made from scratch.

Here's what I'm making:

• 10 school-girl skirts
• 7 peasant outfits (skirt/top or dress)
• 4 mermaid tails and tops
• 1 seagull costume
• 1 fish costume
• 1 police uniform
• 60+ bowties

There may be more eventually, but right now that's just enough to make it look like a bomb's been detonated in my living room.

A Family Tradition

I dedicate this post to Do-Wrong, Flip-Out and Banana. May the next generation know the joy (and frustration) of footie pajamas.

Betsy's Beauty Parlor Part 3

The devastation continues...

On the bright side, Betsy-doll is done receiving haircuts until Betsy-girl takes an interest in razors.

Mystery of the Universe # 3592

This, my friends, is the inside of my pant leg.  And that yellow band?  That is masking tape providing a new hem for my too-long pants.  Why do I have masking tape holding up my pants? 

The answer is simple:  1)  I am too short to wear pants directly off the rack, and 2)  I am too impatient to take them to a tailor and wait a week to be able to wear them, and 3)  I am too lazy to properly (i.e. with a sewing machine) hem them myself.

But, apparently, I am not too impatient or too lazy to carefully "hem" my pants before each wearing and "unhem" them before each washing.  And with 4 new pairs of pants in my closet, I am pretty much hemming (or unhemming) every day.

Hello? Anybody there?

So, let's see.... It's only been about three months since I last posted. Where have I been, you ask? I could regale you with reasons why my life has been so crazy that I haven't been able to post, I could tell you that I fell down a well and have been in the hospital with a coma and no idea who I was, or I could be honest and say that blogging just hasn't been a priority and it slipped through the cracks.

So what have I been doing, you ask? Well, you know - things, life, whatnot. Life is not whatnot and it's none of your business. (name that movie!)

Mostly I've just been enjoying my kids. They're getting bigger and smarter and cuter and funnier and happier and cuter and smarter and funnier and...and...they're just a lot of fun right now. And the best part? They really like each other too! Just the other day, Elliot didn't want to go outside and play until Betsy could join him. He'd RATHER play with her! How did that happen? WHEN did that happen? And how do I make it stay?

But it's not all rainbows and smiles around here either. We finally have a potty-trained four-year-old. It took roughly 15 MONTHS before Elliot would use the toilet on his own all the time. It was a long excruciating process and not one I would like to repeat. But it's over. He's potty trained. He can go to kindergarten and not be the first kid to go in diapers.

And now that he's potty trained, I have gone wild. He's signed up for soccer, T-ball, swimming lessons and summer preschool. And the best part? Betsy's signed up for sibling care during Elliot's preschool. This summer, for 2.5 hours each week, I will be CHILDLESS. Awwww, yay. That's right. For almost three hours each week my children will become someone else's responsibility! I can't wait!

Elliot

"Mommy, I'm giving my imaginary friends some paint!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I'm giving my imaginary friends some paint so they can paint."

"Well that's very nice of you. What are your friends' names?"

(Pointing to each friend individually) "Elliot, Elliot, Elliot, Elliot, Elliot, Elliot and Elliot."

Suckers before bed

Giving dessert to a three-year-old who missed his nap isn't a good idea. Giving a sucker for dessert to a three-year-old who missed his nap really isn't a good idea. Giving a three-year-old, who missed his nap, a sucker for dessert 30 minutes before bedtime is just bad parenting.

As I tried to coerce my over-tired-sugar-shocked son up the stairs to get ready for bed, I was greeted with screams of protest and flailing arms and legs. After warnings, counting and a few more meltdowns, I finally got him upstairs and brushing his teeth. As he was rinsing his mouth, he forgot to drink the rest of the water and instead poured it out. He immediately started crying and apologizing. I gave him another glass of water and after a few minutes of back-rubbing and consoling he was fine.

Next it was time to go potty. He stood on the stool, got his body parts into position and was once again over-come with remorse for having dumped out the water. As the pee started to flow, Elliot started crying "I'm sorry." He was so focused on apologizing that he didn't notice the jet stream that was decorating the wall.

As I told him it was okay and dumping out the water was just an accident, he was still apologizing. As I cleaned him up and told him to wash his hands, he was still apologizing. As I bent over the toilet to wipe pee of the walls and floor, he was still apologizing. As I scrubbed the inside and outside of the toilet, he was still apologizing. As I ushered him to his room, got him into PJs and tucked him into bed, he was still apologizing for dumping out the water.

Don't worry, honey, I've already forgotten all about it.

Ed

I'd like to introduce you to my first baby. His name is Ed, as in "Big Head Ed," "Mr. Ed," "Eduardo Carroccio" and (when he's being naughty) Edward. He's been a part of our family for almost 5 years - we "adopted" him while I was pregnant with Elliot.

Ed's birth mother is a golden retriever and his dad is a neighborhood dog. This combination of pure-bred and mutt spawned a gentle and loving dog whom we often compare to Gomer Pyle: his only desire in life is to be your friend - to love you and be loved back - and he's probably not the quickest puppy in the kennel. But we love him anyway.

Ed thinks he's a lap dog. I'm serious. If you sit on the floor with your legs crossed, Ed will try to sit on your lap. Of course, you'll probably have to move your legs to accommodate his large size, but I think most people tend to move when they see 75lbs of tail-wagging, stinky-breathe-blowing dogginess headed toward them. But we love him anyway.

Ed is so generous that he will give you the fur off his back. I find little clumps of it ALL OVER THE PLACE. And more than once I've seen it in places it shouldn't be. But we love him anyway.

Ed's gentleness and love for us has no bounds. This morning, he graciously and willing shared his pig's ear with Betsy. He was eating his treat on his bed, when Betsy walked up and took the pork flesh from his mouth. She carried it to the other side of the room, stuck it in her mouth, took a bite and started chewing. She didn't seem too bothered by the taste and I'm worried this is going to become a trend. But we love her anyway!

Another year, another resolution

Happy New Year and welcome to the 2008 edition of Mrs. Jones!

A new year marks 12 more months to work on getting it right (lose weight, spend time with family, be healthier, get those house projects under control, etc., etc. etc...). And, like most of us, another year in the Jones house means another list of goals at which to point and laugh for 365 days. My list of resolutions for 2008 is pretty much the same list I've had for the last 5 years, with one exception. This year I really hope to blog (more).

I started this blog about a month ago. It's something I'd thought about doing for awhile and one day I just decided to get it done! During the tail-end of 2007, I got over 10 posts under my belt. In 2008 I hope to keep that trend going. I want to chronicle our daily lives and share our stories with all of you. I'm also doing it because I know that someday soon I won't be able to remember what life was like with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old and I want someone (or something) to remind me.

So here's to keeping 2008 resolutions (even if this is the only one on my list I have any luck of accomplishing)!

Understanding my daughter

At almost 18 months, Betsy has a very limited vocabulary. But her inability to articulate thoughts doesn't hold her back from getting her point across. To help those who don't speak Betsy-onics, here are common words, phrases and actions and their definitions.

Bye Bye noun
1: a wish of well being upon departing: Good-bye

Nigh Nigh noun
1: an act of departure
2: to sleep

Ahhhh verb
1: to ask earnestly for food (with mouth open to accept offering)

Uh Oh verb
1: to express concern (with hands clasped on face a la Macaulay Culkin)

Mama noun
1: first thought to be a term of endearment for the woman who brought her into this world. Now come to discover it means all adults

Tee verb
1: to long or hope for: exhibit or feel desire for (usually includes pointing or reaching for something across the room)
2: to express a wish for: request (includes reaching for something close-by)

Dee verb
1 a: to present for acceptance or rejection (while handing you a cracker, juice or other delectible) b: to present in order to satisfy a requirement (while handing you the item you asked her to retrieve)
2: to make available (handing you any little thing she found on the ground)

No adverb, adjective, noun
1: used as a function word to express the negative of an alternative choice or possibility
2: not any : hardly any: very little
3: an act or instance of refusing or denying by the use of the word no : denial

Screams verb
1: a desire for Elliot to return her toy NOW
2: a desire for anything previously refused her
3: a declaration of pain

Throwing body on floor verb
1: an act of utter frustration and contempt for the big people

Head hung low adjective
1: to feel dejected : cast down in spirits (usually following being told she can't have something and a precursor to throwing body on floor)

So there you go. If you are ever at our house or see us out in public, you will now be able to clearly understand the unique vocal-stylings of our 18-month-old (or at least as well as we do). I should note that the "throwing body on floor" and "head hung low" are only recent developments and aren't used very often (although I think we'll see A LOT more of them in the coming months).

No Such Thing

A few weeks ago, I gave Elliot a toy catalog from a major retailer. I hoped that by giving him the catalog to look at, he'd get some ideas for things he wanted Santa to bring. No such luck. He looked at the pictures and made up stories about what was happening, he asked if he could "borrow" some of the toys, but he didn't want Santa to bring him anything. He thought the catalog was the gift. He brought his "magazine" to bed with him. He hugged it and loved it and called it his own. He broke down in tears when he thought it would be thrown away after he'd been sick ("But, honey, it has VOMIT on it!").

Since he was pretty nonchalant about what toys he wanted, I thought Santa and I could get Elliot whatever we wanted. I thought we were in the clear because he seems to like everything. Then he saw the letter book and had to have it. Okay, so Santa can handle a letter book.

Now he wants more. Today I asked Elliot what Santa was going to bring him on Christmas morning (just to make sure he still wanted the letter book) and he told me "a letter book, a marble slide, 'Harold the Helpful Horse' book and a comic book stawing Ewiot!"

WHAT?!?!?!

So the letter book was no surprise. But the rest of it? Hopefully Santa knows what he's talking about because I don't have a clue. His little magazine doesn't feature any marble slides, I haven't seen any commercials for "Harold the Helpful Horse" and since when does he like comic books? He gets scared when Nemo's mom dies!

I'm really hoping Santa can pull through on this one because I did a google search and there is no such thing as a "Harold the Helpful Horse." No. Such. Thing.

Say Cheese

Here's our little diva learning the fine art of modeling at an early age. Also notice the incessant chatter in the background. This would be our other diva, Elliot.

This is also a pretty good example of what our life is like. Joe laying on the couch (at least when he's watching the kids), Elliot talking non-stop and Betsy doing her own thing and being cute.

Classic

Last night, my husband and Elliot, my three-year-old, were sitting together when Elliot ripped one really loudly. So loudly, in fact, that Joe wasn't sure at first if it had come from Elliot. Until Elliot started to laugh and proclaimed his rear-explosion to be a "double pertz*."

My husband asked him if he had burned a hole in his pants and Elliot answered, "I don't have any fire in my bottom, Daddy!" A classic moment in the Jones household.

*A "pertz" is my husband's family's euphemism. I have no idea where the word came from, but it has been passed down for generations (pun intended).

Here Comes Santa Claus...

This morning marked our second annual breakfast with Santa.

We got the kids dressed in their holiday splendor
and drove over the river and through the woods
(well, really it was just a golf course)
to see the jolly old man in a silly red suit.

It was a really fun event and the kids had a great time.

There was cookie decorating and face painting...

Santa's band of merry elves played music...

and Joe and Betsy shared their first dance together...

Santa even brought Donner, Blitzen and Comet
to meet all the good little kids.

And for the second year in a row,
in spite all of the holiday cheer and hoopla,
my kids did not want to meet Santa.

No shaking hands, no giving hugs and definitely
NO SITTING ON LAPS.

They wanted nothing to do with jolly old St. Nick.
Oh well, there's always next year.

Epace on Earth

Christmas with little kids is the best. Elliot knows who Santa Claus is. He knows that he needs to be good for Santa to leave him presents (and good boys take NAPS!). He has a resin nativity set that he loves to play with and tells me all about the kings and kneelers (shepherds) who visited the baby Jesus and his mommy and daddy. He understands what is happening and looks forward to each new adventure.

Elliot has loved watching our house transform into a holiday wonderland. He and Betsy get hours of entertainment from taking the ornaments off the tree, throwing them around the living room and then putting them back on the tree. He is in awe of the outside lights on the houses in our neighborhood (his favorite is the all-blue lights). And every day he carefully opens a new drawer on our Advent calendar to reveal another ornament for the little tree. He couldn't be happier with the decorations or more pleased with his contributions to them.

And his greatest pleasure is our mantle. The other day, I carefully unpacked and arranged our stockings along the fireplace. I was proud of the results. When I showed them to Elliot, he thought it looked great too. But he had one minor adjustment to make. Apparently, the letters were in the wrong order. He explained to me where they needed to go and I had no choice but to follow orders (trust me, I didn't have a choice!). I even tried to switch them back later that day, but he discovered my treachery and made me put them back the way he had them.

The perfectionist in me is bothered by our mantle. But the mom in me knows that he is only going to be little for the blink of an eye. And before I know it (or want it to happen), he won't give a hoot where the stockings are as long as they're filled with toys!

This year, my Christmas wish for all of you is Epace on Earth and Good Will Toward Little Men!

humble

There are days when I feel rather intelligent. When I'm confident that I know enough to survive in the world and maybe-just maybe-a little more than the average bear. Today isn't one of those days.

I've wanted to start a blog for awhile. I've wanted the ability to share my thoughts and photos in the great unknown called cyberspace. I've wanted to create change in the world one post at a time. I've wanted to share my life with others.

So today I took the plunge and I'm scared. I'm scared because now I have my very own blog and I don't know what the hell I'm doing!